I had mentioned in an earlier post about the number one issue we fight in Boy Scouting. The issue of, my mommy said I don't have to do that. This is a problem that seems to have taken on an epidemic nature. I can usually handle a boy that says this and set him on a better course. The problem is when a mom decides it's her job to harass leaders into giving their son credit for something. I just don't understand the thinking of a parent that thinks they would be proud of their child earning something their parent whined for. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this position. How many parents think they can strong arm a teacher into a good grade. (all my teacher friends just cleared their throats) Don't get me wrong, I'm all for bragging on your child. It's just a matter of bragging on something your child earned on his own.
Last night I was privileged to emcee an Eagle Court of Honor for one of the young men in my Troop. While his parents are very involved in his life, their approach to their Son's accomplishments are a little different. The father told me long ago, that while he did not believe in the whole "it takes a village" philosophy, but he does want certain key people speaking directly into his Son's life. It's not a hands off approach, but it does allow for a young man to face the real world on his own two feet. I can say because of my unencumbered influence on him, I was just as proud as his parents. While he will always honor and respect his parents, he will very easily adapt to the real world. Stand on his own is already built in. When he goes to college he won't need his mommy to talk some sense into the professors. When he interviews for a job he won't need his mommy to tell the employer what he "really" means. And when he ask a young lady to marry him, he won't need mommy to convince the girl what a man he is. Nothing attracts the ladies like a mommy whining!
In the end you have to ask yourself whether or not you want your Son to be proud of himself. Being a good parent means pushing your child even when your parental protection instincts kick in. Trust me, I've seen the look in a kid's eye when pushing him out of his comfort zone. I can say that despite the brief painful look every time you push a kid it causes him to find faith in himself. There's a time for protection but if you don't find a time to push, you'll end up with a 30 year old mama's boy living in your house. So let go of the reins and give a solid but gentle kick to the rear and let them go. Your kid will thank you in the end.
Age alone doesn't make a boy a man. It takes disciple, choices, fortitude, and maturity.
