Do you stand on your own merit?

As a proud parent, I often brag on my two Sons.  Their accomplishments fill me with such pride I can't help but shout their actions from the rooftops. But every so often a pariah comes along to try their best to nit pick my kids.  If it were simply a matter of acknowledging my kids aren't perfect, that would be easy enough.  To often these criticisms come for the purpose of making their own kids look good.  If the only way you can compliment your child is by tearing down someone else's kid, then you have failed miserably as a parent.  It is so easy to sit back, pour nothing into your kid, and down others to make up for your lack.  I can't tell you how many times I've told my sons, "it doesn't matter what Johnny does, you will answer for yourself."  Other conversations include the line, "I don't care what other parents allow their kids to do.  You are mine and I will raise you by my standards."  When the day comes (it's coming soon) that my Sons walk out of my house, they will be able to stand on their own two feet and their own merits.  The gross habit of downing others will get them nowhere in life.

Sad to say, this is not only a subject for rearing children.  To often the work place is invaded by the "loud capper".  The person who has very few work skills but is an expert at downing other in front of the boss.  So no matter how hard you work or how skilled you become at your task, it's all negated by the brown nose who insults your work at the perfect time, usually in front of the foreman.  Again, this person can't keep a job on their own merit. They are only on the payroll to belittle your production.

Probably the most vicious of these attacks occur to or in a marriage.  If a husband decides to send his wife flowers, other wives insist it's to cover up his mistakes.  When really they wish it was them getting flowers.  I think there is a commandment about that.  Something about not coveting your neighbors wife.  It applies to women as well.  And yes, this even happens in a marriage.  If a woman is always downing her husband it's probably to hide the fact that she is not living up to her wifely duties.  It also works the other way around, men who bad mouth their wives usually spend little or no time speaking to or affirming her.

In the end are your successes measured against your own standards or on some other's failure?

Don't be distracted by criticism.  Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.  ~Zig Ziglar