There's always a bigger pond!

Big Fish in the Pond!

Recently the wife and I got to tag along with my oldest as he went to LSU to an early Orientation/Testing invitation for kids that have really high academic achievements.  We were there with about six hundred other sets of proud parents.  All of us grinning from ear to ear that our kid had been selected for this prestigious honor.  While the kids took their tests, we parents were sent into large theaters to listen to chancellors talk about everything from GPA's, to dorms, and even saying good byes on move in day.  After the second test, which was Calculus, my Son text me to meet him at the lunch line.  While waiting in the line he informed me that no less than fifteen of the three hundred taking the test stood up with in minutes of receiving the test and turned it in.  The proctor asked if there was a problem and the students replied they had never seen anything like this.  While standing in the line I could overhear several other students complain to their parents how badly they had bombed the Calculus test.

How could this be?  How could the best of the best on ACT scores and High School GPA's not know what was waiting for them at the next level?  The answer is very simple.  We as parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, and the like teach our kids to be the biggest fish in the pond they are in.  We rarely teach them or prepare them for the next pond they are going to advance to.  This is not just an academic thing.  This happens at the local ball field as well.  To often a coach will have Little Johnny be the best slugger at the local recreation field but when invited to go to try out for a minor league team, he can't hit the broad side of a barn.  Surely this is crazy talk on my part.  But it's just part of human nature.  We want to be the best in the environment we are in, even if that means ignoring long term needs.  And we all to often transfer this to our kids.  We want our kid to win the big trophy at the local event without any consideration of what benefits it is or is not giving him for the next level of life.

Celebrate your kids real accomplishments!

What good is it to have the best GPA or ACT in your High School if your not ready for college?  Bragging rights and a job at the oil change shop?  What good is it to be the most decorated ball player in your district if you aren't able to make it to the next level?  A case full of trophies to collect dust in your subsidized house? Achievements at any level are a good thing and worthy of praise, but they must be seen as building blocks. If you are not prepping for the next level up, or excuse the expression a bigger pond, then you are just wasting your talent.  By all means celebrate your child's good grades, ACT scores, home runs, swim meet medals, and every other accomplishment, but make sure it's all part of a bigger plan to prepare him for a bigger pond in the long run.  No one ever remembers who was the Valedictorian of the Eighth grade but everyone knows who the name of Microsoft's CEO!  Make sure you are aiming for that next and bigger pond in everything you and your kid does and things in life will be a lot smoother for everyone.

A parent's need to shelter can lead to shock treatment for a child.

Happy Parenting

As parents we all want the best for our children.  We all want to provide a wonderful, loving home.  Every parent hopes their child has exceptional physical, mental, and social skills and will be in an environment that acknowledges those great attributes. We want our children to be exposed to the best educational opportunities possible.  Parents want their child surrounded by teachers, coaches, peers, and mentors that will only speak positive and encouraging words into their lives. We want the best life possible and definitely a better life than we had when we were children. In short, parents want to shelter their kids from the bad things in the world and only expose them to the good.  But is this the best for your child in the long run? And the answer is, no.



It's absolutely staggering to me how many kids today have never worked a job before they make 18.  Or how many kids have never had to fend for themselves until the day they leave for college.   Come on people, it's only common sense.  If Little Johnny has never had to punch a time clock or answer to some grumpy boss before 18 the learning curve is going to be extremely steep.  And no, having Little Susie watch here younger cousins for money does not count.  Getting a part time job at 16 or 17 is a lesson in how much the real world really sucks.  Vital lessons in what it's like to be at the bottom of the food chain are taught at these minimum wage, menial jobs.  Even if your child is going to college to be a rocket scientist, the lessons of a part time, minimum wage job are invaluable to a child in the long term plan of making a complete adult.  And those parents that shield their kids from these lessons will be compensating for it for years and years to come.  And if you send your kid off to college without having the know how to wash clothes, clean dishes, cook food, or bathe himself.......you just might have a thirtysomething living on your couch for during your golden years.


My oldest is a Senior in High School and we've been doing the College tour thing.  We have gone to quite a few Universities and sat through a many a presentation.  Some of the best and most eye opening looks into the colleges are the ones that have college Seniors available to answer questions.  Just the other day we were at LSU and they had a 5 Seniors answering questions.  3 of them admitted to Freshman shock.  One said it was because he had never worked a job before and it translated into not knowing how to adjust to being the low man in the pecking order.  The other two said that living without the help of parents and so far from home was the shock that took and entire year to get over.  They adjusted and are going to graduate as fine students of their school, but I'm glad to hear their honesty of how shocking the real world is when they left the nest of their sheltered home.  The sooner you start adjusting your child to the real world the easier his transition will be into it.

College life without Mommy!