Wednesday, September 18, 2013

DISCIPLINE! If parents don't have it kids never will.

Children by flickr
It goes without saying that it's a different world today.  There are no more consequences for incorrect behavior anymore.  Today's kids seem to have no discipline, respect, or manners.  But the question is why? What is different?  Are teachers teaching differently?  Are coaches, mentors, and leaders of kid's clubs no longer trying to hold kids accountable?  The short answer is no, but somehow the proven techniques of the past are falling short.  We have entered the era of feel good parenting.  And it's coming with the staggering price of kids and adults not having respect for anything or anyone in this world.

Parents today no longer want to be seen as the disciplinarian in their child's eyes.  I'm guessing that these parents have some need to be accepted by their children.  So being the enforcer of rules runs contrary to this need to have your child approving of you and thus making you feel like someone loves you.  Some would quickly blame divorced households for the competing factors of parents seeking their kid's approval.  But it is no longer just for kids of divorced parents.  There are parents that live in the same home competing against one another.  These parents will say that they want their child to have discipline.  After all that's why they send them to school, or play sports.  The problems come when the teacher, coach, or mentor makes a rule and the parent doesn't back it up.  If your child is failing a class and you accept his excuses then you undermine all the discipline that a teacher is trying to instill in your child.  If you tell a coach that your child is special and shouldn't have to run laps after practice, then you have destroyed his tried and true method of making a child live up to their potential.  Letting a coach, teacher, or mentor push your kid is not going to harm them.  Kids thrive under the right amount of pressure.  Your child can excel at anything in this life if he is pushed out of the nest.  The lessons of discipline are so crucial in raising a child to be a productive member of society.  Why do parents think that their baby can bypass this important step?

A little discipline never hurt.
A child first sees discipline at work in his home.  Your child takes note on whether or not you have the discipline to stick to your words.  A child will push and prod to see if you will stay disciplined in things such as bedtimes, eating correct foods, saying things like thank you and yes sir, and all the other little things that should take place in the home.  If your five year old doesn't have a bedtime, you are setting yourself up for a child that doesn't respect your rules or the rules of society.  Being a parent is hard.  Your commitment to bringing a child in this world requires you to have discipline in your on life.  Being the popular parent when your child is young will lead to a willful young adult that insults you every time you don't intervene and tell his boss that he is special.  If you don't hold yourself to a standard, your child will never hold himself to a standard.  Discipline must start at home.

I pray my rant is overstated.  I fear a world where discipline, respect, and manners are not only no longer taught but forgotten all together.



4 comments:

  1. I agree with you. I think kids have to love AND respect their parents, not either/or. I see a lot of kids who do one or the other.

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    1. I agree Mike, it's definitely a balancing act between the two.

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  2. I would love my kids to like me, but I am exponentially less concern with that then them being good citizens and productive people.

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    1. Thanks Alex,
      You obviously see the bigger picture of raising children. And your just reward will come in due time.

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