In today's world it's all about the must haves in life. Personally, I hate the must haves. You'd be surprised on how little we need to survive, but that's just me. Most of the time the must haves are for personal status symbols. The guy down the street got a motorbike so I must have a Harley to keep up. People I went to school with live in a three hundred grand house on the golf course, so I must have one to save face. It doesn't matter they work at a law firm and I work at the local hardware store. It even applies to stay at home moms. If little Johnny's mom has a Lexus in the car pool line, then by all means we have to get an eighty thousand dollar car to pick up Suzy from school.
The problem comes when the keeping up with the Jones attitude is applied to raising kids. Ask these parents about little Johnny's clothing and they will tell you in great detail about which high fashion mall boutique they buy those in style threads. Ask them about little Johnny's Biology teacher and they don't know so much about that. If every other kid has $300 pair of headphones named after a famous rapper then little Johnny will have that asap. Do we buy little Johnny the latest encyclopedia CD or online subscription? No, not really in the cool category so maybe later. This year the hottest going jersey is a Chris Paul limited edition at $178. Do we buy that and have little Johnny sit home all summer or use that money to send him to camp to learn and interact with other kids? And my least favorite is the bloody I phone. No, not just an I phone an I phone 5 is the only thing that will do!
The question I have is what good does all this do for the kid in the long run? What is the purpose, desire, and goal of raising a kid? If you goal is to have a kid that feels like he is cool, then stick to the trendy fashion boutiques. The supposed purpose is to raise a kid to have a better life. In today's world, a better life requires one thing, a degree. The chasm between the people that have an education and the one's that don't is growing exponentially. Your trendy child is going to make minimum wage and blow his entire paycheck on the newest smart phone. So that means he's going to live with you for a very, very long time. But if you invest in your child's education with more than an ambivalent attitude, then he will be driven to get that degree and be able to sustain himself. He will be part of the crowd that demands and gets top pay at any job he seeks out. Kids take note of everything you do, including your attitude towards their education. So make sure they see you put as much value into education as you do any other thing. This world is split right down the middle based on education. The question is what half of the must have fence are you falling on?
It's so easy to get caught up in the rat race these days. I hope your children give you the focus it takes to look at the bigger picture. There future depends on it.
I would never *EVER* pay $178 for a jersey for my kid. Really, aside from winter jackets, no one in this family owns clothes that expensive.
ReplyDeleteI agree education is absolutely important, and should get top priority. I don't necessarily think a degree is of absolute importance, as there are many many (many) careers that simply do not require it, and many who have degrees can't find work to save their lives. I also don't think its the parents responsibility to pay for college (tho if it can be afforded, it can't hurt)
My educational support will be a success when my kid graduates high school he has the drive, ambition, and academic chops to get into college, *and* the life skills to figure out how to attain it for himself. If he has those he will as well on his way to an awesome life no matter what course he decides his life should take (college, trades, military, etc.)
Dave you are correct. I probably put to much emphasis on the word degree. I tell boys in my Troop to go out and get another piece of paper besides the High School diploma. It can be Vo-tech certificate or specialty schools like cooking or hair. A high school diploma doesn't go as far as it used to.
Deletemy boys are only 8 and 9 but all these questions come up; they "claim" all their friends have iPhones and certainly some do. If they all actually DID and they were the only ones without, it's a hard call; we all remember how much it meant to fit in. We were the last to get the Wii and an actual flat screen TV. And many of their friends do live in McMansions while we live in a truly humble and spiderwebbed abode:) I can't imagine what Santa will possibly be able to bring them for Christmas that isn't a hundred buck plus electronic!
ReplyDeleteOh my Sandra! You had me at "mcMansions". The truth is my boys rarely do without but the things they have, they know what it cost and the sacrifices that have to be made for it.
DeleteMcMansions..........I'm going to have to start using that one.