The "must haves" in child raising.

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In today's world it's all about the must haves in life.  Personally, I hate the must haves.  You'd be surprised on how little we need to survive, but that's just me.  Most of the time the must haves are for personal status symbols.  The guy down the street got a motorbike so I must have a Harley to keep up.  People I went to school with live in a three hundred grand house on the golf course, so I must have one to save face.  It doesn't matter they work at a law firm and I work at the local hardware store.  It even applies to stay at home moms.  If little Johnny's mom has a Lexus in the car pool line, then by all means we have to get an eighty thousand dollar car to pick up Suzy from school.

The problem comes when the keeping up with the Jones attitude is applied to raising kids.  Ask these parents about little Johnny's clothing and they will tell you in great detail about which high fashion mall boutique they buy those in style threads.  Ask them about little Johnny's Biology teacher and they don't know so much about that.  If every other kid has $300 pair of headphones named after a famous rapper then little Johnny will have that asap.  Do we buy little Johnny the latest encyclopedia CD or online subscription?  No, not really in the cool category so maybe later.  This year the hottest going jersey is a Chris Paul limited edition at $178.  Do we buy that and have little Johnny sit home all summer or use that money to send him to camp to learn and interact with other kids?  And my least favorite is the bloody I phone.  No, not just an I phone an I phone 5 is the only thing that will do!

Image by wikimedia.

The question I have is what good does all this do for the kid in the long run?  What is the purpose, desire, and goal of raising a kid?  If you goal is to have a kid that feels like he is cool, then stick to the trendy fashion boutiques.  The supposed purpose is to raise a kid to have a better life.  In today's world, a better life requires one thing, a degree.  The chasm between the people that have an education and the one's that don't is growing exponentially.  Your trendy child is going to make minimum wage and blow his entire paycheck on the newest smart phone.  So that means he's going to live with you for a very, very long time.  But if you invest in your child's education with more than an ambivalent attitude, then he will be driven to get that degree and be able to sustain himself. He will be part of the crowd that demands and gets top pay at any job he seeks out.   Kids take note of everything you do, including your attitude towards their education.  So make sure they see you put as much value into education as you do any other thing.  This world is split right down the middle based on education.  The question is what half of the must have fence are you falling on?

It's so easy to get caught up in the rat race these days.  I hope your children give you the focus it takes to look at the bigger picture.  There future depends on it.

The Popular Effect!

Ever heard the saying, "Everybody wants to be associated with a winner."  Is this still true? Obviously, the big news of the week says it's true.  Every politician from England's Prime Minister to the Councilmen in the Nevada desert has gotten a plug in on the back of the birth of a Royal Baby.  No self respecting public figure would pass up an opportunity for some good press.  While I'm happy for the Royal couple and wish them the best in raising their Son, I just can't help but see all the press and the talking heads using them for some ratings.  That little baby represents the happiest days of the young Royal couple's life, but to the press and the politicians that little baby is a way to make a quick buck.  The truth is, the same people that put out press releases about a Royal Baby being born are the same ones that made statements after the verdict was read in Florida last week.  Get your name in the spotlights when big news breaks is the creed of today's American politician.  When those twenty six kids were killed in Connecticut, the pariahs were quick to capitalize on their innocent lives.  It didn't matter what their views on kids, guns, or schools were before the shootings. The public sentiment was ripe for the picking.  Jump on the anti gun bandwagon and jump on it in a public display for all to see.  Standards, morals, and convictions, who needs that?  Get me the news network on the phone and I'll side with whoever is popular at this given moment.

I often wonder, do any of these talking heads think they are making a difference in a single person's life?  Do you think that any of those fools on TV last week, screaming about Florida's laws, will go back and actually try to fix those laws?  Have I got a bridge to sell you!  How many have followed up with the parents of Sandy Hook?  Maybe if I had a television spotlight I could see one!  Here in Louisiana, back in 2010 we had a little oil spill.  Made headline news for most of the Summer.  Politicians from clear across the globe had to get their two cents in on those headlines. Where are they now?  Are they out in the bay reseeding oyster beds?  Are they on the barrier islands replanting marsh grasses?  Do they even mention the spill in the halls of D.C. any more?  No, no, and no.  You see, it's no longer a matter of being associated with a winner.  The creed of today's charlatans is, "get me in the spotlight no matter who we have to step on!"  Around here we refer to it as the bandwagon.  And quite frankly, the people are fed up with the bandwagon jumpers.

Great sound bites do nothing to help the homeless.  Expert analysis can't find an orphan a loving home. Stirring up hate can't fix race relations.  Getting on national TV and screaming it's the lobbyist fault won't comfort parents that have lost children.  And standing in the halls of Congress while reading endless economic reports will never feed widows.  The people that make a difference in this world are the ones that search in the dark corners for someone in need.  Helping people during their darkest days will never make for good television but it sure can bring joy to your soul. Forget the popularity contests.  Help somebody that you actually know.  Reach out to someone you can actually put your hands on.  Make a difference in a person's life on a daily basis.  Then instead of the thrill of the spotlight you can feel the warmth of the light of your own soul.