Are you Parent enough to create Inertia?

Running Time!

I know it's cliche' but the most common question asked around here these days is, where has time gone? And it's getting worse by the minute.  It seems that time speeds up the older we get.  Not that long ago I was teaching a group of younger Scouts about the concept of being obedient.  I was explaining to them that at their ages (11 & 12) that obeying without question was important.  And later in life when they reach college age, say 20 or so they could start questioning some of the rules.  One of the boys raised his hand and said, "but Mr. Van, it's going to take forever to reach 20".  All I could do is double over in laughter as I tried to say, "It will be here in no time at all kid".  When you're young time seems to stand still, then as you age it picks up speed.  Then you have a kid and hold on for dear life.



Which brings me to life in my house.  We've lived the fast lane and arrived at our graduation month.  I have one graduating High School and one 8th grade.  So I thought we would just kick back and enjoy the month of May.  You know reminisce and reflect on all the good time and such.  That would be a big negative!  For the month so far my kids lives have sped up so fast I'm not sure what they look like.  My 8th grader goes to school all day then does Freshman football till 7pm every afternoon, then is locked in the office doing homework till bedtime.  My Senior gets up in the morning to go take AP placement tests then spend the rest of the day and late into the night working with his band director on a play at the local theater.  So much for kicking back for a few enjoyable weeks with my boys.  I just hope I can recognize them walking down the aisle on graduation day.

Inertia Racers

Trust me, none of this is by accident.  Ever since they were old enough to understand my boys have been pushed and pushed hard.  It was decided before their births that they would be made to try as many things as possible.  My boys did not have to make a life long habit of things but they had to try just about everything.  They've done sports, academics, music, scouts, aquatics, and even some social events.  The key was to explain to them that after this challenge, there will be another one.  If I told them they had the day off they wouldn't believe me.  They don't understand idleness and this sometimes conflicts with their friendships because other kids are raised just to sit and be idle.  The thing is once you set something in motion it tends to stay in motion.  Most people quote the simple law of physics of inertia, that states a body that is in motion tends to stay in motion.  But if you read the rest of the law of inertia it also states that a body at rest tends to stay at rest.  So to the crowd that says, "don't make little Johnny do something he doesn't want to do", I say you are cursing your kid.  Push your kid into motion and do it often.  Soon and very soon he will be in motion of his on choosing.

Remember asking, "What do you want to do this weekend, Honey?"

Full contact parenting.

In the Bordelon house we are in the 7th inning stretch of the year of Epic Graduationness!  With 12th and 8th grade graduations in two and a half months our days are on lock down. Penny and I walk around with a paper calendar full to the brim and our phone full of electronic dates.  Gone are the free weekends.  Out the window are the "date nights", that's for newlyweds.  And the age of dropping off little ones at grandma's for a weekend getaway are the things of myth for us.  We are on a rail to complete a goal and no selfishness will deter us from all that must be accomplished to get there.  If you are unwilling to sacrifice for a child then I suggest something other than parenting.


How do you plan a selfish night out when you need to have Senior pictures taken.  When you price a hotel room on the coast and see the deposit for your Son's dorm, is there really a choice?  When your 8th grader has an opportunity to take test and compete academically do you really look the other way?  We love to get together with our friends, but we are not about to miss the last concert of our Son's High School career. That new restaurant with it's romantic meals sure sounds great, but my boy is throwing nine pound balls into the air this weekend, so it will have to wait.  Then again, I've never understood people that don't attend their kid's functions.  We are blessed with two talented boys. My oldest has excelled at band, academics, and math.  I have never missed a band function, and why would I?  It was only five years, I've been around for forty three.  I think sacrificing five is minor league in the big picture.  My younger is excelling at football, track and field, academics, and math.  In his elementary football years I've missed one game due to flooding.  I have no intention of missing any High School games.  What's four football years in the course of my life?  Why bring kids into this world if you are not going to pour your life into them?  To have kids and put a roof over their heads while you go off and have your mid-life crisis is just the most selfish thing I can think of in this world.  It's a real head scratch-er for me.

End of a short journey.

So we march on with our date with destiny.  Our goal, to raise two whole, complete young men.  While the nay-sayers will shout things like, "think of yourself" and "you are worshiping your kids".  I say, it's better than worshiping myself.  I choose to enjoy the weekends filled with trips to colleges, end of year concerts, banquets, awards ceremonies, rehearsals, etc, etc, etc.  When our job is done, the wife and I will find a sandy beach and sink our tired, broken-down bodies into it for a spell.  Enjoy some alone time, rejuvenate, and do so with a big smile knowing we've poured all we could into our boys.  But until then our calendar will be locked up with the task at hand.  Because that's why we came together, to raise kids that will be the best things we can set forth on this Earth.  Despite what this world is, and despite what short comings we may have.  In the end don't judge us for our weekend getaways, judge us for the offspring we've left behind.

Hold on to Sixteen as long as you can!

My wife in the hospital with our second son.

Today is my older Son's last day as a sixteen year old.  Tomorrow will make his seventeenth birthday and he will officially be an adult according to the state of Louisiana.  Needless to say, I'm a little sentimental because it feels more like a bullet train ride than an entire childhood that has passed. I still remember the night he was born.  My wife was in labor for more than twenty hours.  The doctors finally decided to cut him out at about quarter past midnight.  Because of the medicine and the long labor they gave the wife some more medicine to sleep and at three o'clock in the morning handed me my Son for the first time and left the room.  I was all alone with this strange little baby that I knew nothing about.  I had no connection with him at that point.  After all, it was not me who carried him for nine months.  Three days later I was shaking like a leaf when I drove him home for the first time.  Seems like a few weeks ago.


He had a severe case of colic.  For six months no one slept for more than twenty minutes at a time.  I thought that six months was a sentence to an eternity in hell.  Looking back now, it was just a blip on the timeline.  The other seasons came and went with increasing speed.  The cost of diapers and formula is very high but before you know it that season was over.  Then came walking, running, talking, toys, video games, and something new for Dad to learn everyday when I got home from work.  How many nights I laid in his bed and played Mario for him because he couldn't get to the next level?  He sure doesn't need much help from me these days. Then came a little brother that changed his whole world in one day.  Then came school, learning, PTOs, Tee Ball, music, and Scouts.  When he made eight my life changed and instead of working I was the one staying home with him.  How many firsts did I get to experience with him?  I'm not sure, but it was a privilege to be on every single one.  Lately, there has been many crowning moments for him.  He is now an Eagle Scout, Captain of his High School Band, and employee at the local grocery store.  And the future is very bright, with his outstanding academic scores he is sure to get into the college of his choosing.


So basically that's it, an entire childhood in one paragraph and it seems that it went by as fast has reading that paragraph.  No matter what season you and you child are in, I suggest you cherish it.  Crying babies may not see like a good time but it will pass soon and very soon.  Trying to keep up with a toddler that climbs and touches everything may seem never ending but it will be memories you miss.  Doing homework for four hours every night may seem like a prison sentence but it will be time very well served. You can't stop time, nor should you try, but take a few moments to cherish all the things that happen in your brief time to raise a child. Don't wait till the seasons are over to pour your life into your kids, start now.  If you put forth your best effort in all these season then the sadness of your child entering into adulthood will be replaced with the joy of a fine young man or woman that you are proud to call yours. I think my boy is off to a great start, even if it was at mach two.  He's a fine young adult man.

1996

2013

Happy Birthday my Boy!

It's about Time!

Everyone is busy, busy, busy these days. We are all pressed for time.  Life is full of schedules, dates, appointments, and clocks to punch.  We use phrases like, "time is money", or "my time is valuable".  Ever stop to wonder what is time? Time is not something you can touch or grab. Who came up with this idea?  What is the purpose of time?

Archaeologists point to artifacts found about 6,000 years ago when man first started making lunar calendars to try to predict the planting seasons.  This would be roughly the time man converted from hunter-gathers to farmers.  Knowing the seasons is a big deal to farmers but we now know that the moon is on a 28 day cycle and after a few years changes would have to be made to the calendar.  The next advancement was the "sundial".  Most believe it showed up in Egypt in 1500 BC, but that is debatable.  While the sundial helped in dividing the day it to had to be constantly adjusted for the different lengths of the day over the course of the year.  Obviously Summer days are longer than Winter days.  Then came those thoughtful Romans.  The Julian Calendar (Julius Caesar) was created in roughly 45 BC.  This calendar was much more accurate.  It did loose 11 minutes a year.  While some would jump on that 11 minute issue, remember this is 1500 years before Columbus sailed to disprove a "flat world".  I'm thinking the Romans and Egyptians knew the world was round, but that's just my opinion.  After Columbus came the modern calendar called the Gregorian Calendar.  Then shortly after that the world was divided into the 24 zones and modern time keeping began.

So the concept of time was born out of need to keep up with the growing seasons, but it has now spiraled into an all consuming thing.  Time not only measures the seasons, it measures the speed at which we get to work, the speed we work at, the amount we work, the amount of sleep we get, the amount of time spent with children, the speed we enter into responsibilities, and on and on.  The biggest thing it measures is the amount of time we have here on this Earth. "Life is but a vapor" is one of my favorite bible quotes.  It shows how quickly our time here on Earth can pass and how little impact can be left if we don't make the most of it.  One of my pet peeves is when a parent says that some extracurricular activity for their child isn't worth the time.  When I know they spend entire weekends in front of the squawk box while their kid is in the other room wearing out their thumbs on some video game.  Don't get me wrong, I know some people work multiple jobs.  Paying the bills does take precedent in this modern world.  If you think your time here on Earth is short, think how short 18 years is when you bring a kid into the world.  I assure you it will pass more quickly than you can imagine.  The time to start spending time with your kids is today.  Don't wait until they are out of diapers, or old enough to play T-ball, or entering teenage land.  Start now, if not sooner.  We all have to juggle time in our lives.  The question is, when your time has run out who will remember you?  Who will carry on your hopes, dreams, and experiences?


Take the time to impart all those things in to your loved ones.  And not just your kids.  Take the time to catch up with old friends.  Write a note to someone whom you appreciate.  Call an old classmate.  Yes, all these things take time, but when your time is up what are you leaving behind? Do you think a 401k or a home is what you will be remembered for?  You will only be remembered for the precious commodity of time that you spent on others.  Your sons and daughters will value the times spent with you more than your Earthly possessions.  So take some time to invest some time into the people in your life.  Who knows, you just might cheat time and live on in other's memories.


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